Arsen

A personal companion to I Am Who I Am, told through reversals. It begins with Arsen as a son, follows the life and ideas behind his name, and imagines the father he hopes to become. The next book, Arsik, carries that imagined family story forward.

The first book says: I am who I am. Its reverse asks who I may become. I am Arsen Saidov, but I am not sealed inside a single sentence. I carry the name I inherited and make choices that give it a future. A mirror holds a face still; a doorway lets that face walk into the world. The secret book begins at that threshold.

I was born third among seven children and became the eldest son. In my earlier story, I looked toward my father and tried to understand the work beneath his silence. Now I turn the gaze around. I imagine a son called Arsik who may one day look at me with the same difficult questions. I want him to find care in my actions, not merely in my words. The son who saw his father begins learning how to be a father.